Not So Quick on the Uptake is Our Simon

Yeah, so ... I totally stole this set of e-mails regarding Simon's pie charts (or lack thereof) from the Bloggess but, oh! You have got to read it! By the time I got to the bottom I was in tears.

People are so darn funny.

Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

Jimmy and The Muppets Sing

Jimmy and The Muppets Sing

There's a Lot of That Going Around ...

These still make me laugh.

If Snowmen Came to Life ... That Would be Creeeeepy - Fred Figglehorn

That would be creeeepy ...

This kid cracks me up.

Lady Marmalade - Missy, Mya, P!nk, Lil' Kim, & Christina

Yep, still love it.

Rogue Warrior Featuring MC Mickey Rourke - Funky Credits Theme

This is GREAT! And FOUL!! But mostly freaking AWESOME!!!

Facebook Abuse - Man in the Box

Are we clear? Are we CLEAR?!?

Don't - Billy Currington

OMG! Why has no one ever told me about this guy before?!?

I LOVE THIS SONG!!

Mariza - Constantine Krystallis

Mariza from Constantine Krystallis on Vimeo.

Defying Gravity

BR: Andrew Airlie, Karen Leblanc, Peter Howitt, Florentine Lahme, Ron Livingston, Laura Harris, Maxim Roy, Eyal Podell, and Christina Cox. FR: Malik Yoba, Paula Graces, Dylan Taylor, Zahf Paroo, and Ty Olsson.

You know me and sci-fi … love it, love it, LOVE IT!! And this has become my latest love. Which kind of sucks, as I DVRd it over the Summer then only got around to watching it this weekend. My very, very bad, as it’s since been canceled. Well, ain’t that the suckage? And it’s a combined US/Canadian/German production, so you just know it couldn’t find a network home anywhere (in the US that is … Canada, Germany, and the UK are going ahead with the entire season, although I doubt there’ll be any more).

Anywho ... in 2052, the eight member ethnically diverse crew of the Antares sets off on a six year multi planet research voyage of the solar system … which is actually a mission having less to do with research and more to do with “Beta”, the alien in Pod 4; the result of an encounter 15 years prior. Beta has all kinds of thrills and chills in store for our crew that emerge throughout the series.

The crew, led by a couple veterans who were involved in the (failed) Mars mission a decade earlier, is made up of highly trained rookies. The timeline is a bit fluid, in that there are so very many flashbacks that it really doesn’t matter in which order later episodes are viewed. The story shifts back and forth between the Antares-in-the-present-day and the mission selection/training that took place five years earlier. Said flashbacks do nicely to fill in character history and relations (Ted dated Jen but is now wed to Eve; Jen is now married to Rollie; Donner loved Sharon, had a one-night-stand with Zoe, and is now fuck-buddies with Schilling; Claire and Evram are engaged; Morales and Wassenfelder seem to have begun the typical young romance of folk-who-have-nothing-in-common-but-luuuurve).

Oh, yeah … and it has Ron Livingston and Ty Olsson in it. SCORE! And the rest of the cast is freakin’ perfect … A-plus for the casting director here:

• Beta/Antares: Some sort of mind-bending alien life-form (or not?) that resides in Pod 4 of the Antares. Had a hand in who made the Antares team (which most likely means had something to do with Ajay’s and Rollie’s heart conditions) and subjects Antares crew members to mild-to-strong hallucinations regularly.
• Zoe Barnes/Antares Geologist (Laura Harris): United States. Had a one-night stand with Donner that resulted in an aborted pregnancy of which he is unaware. Shares recurring dream with Donner. Hallucinates sounds of a baby.
• Jen Crane/Antares Biologist (Christina Cox): Canada. Married to Rollie Crane, had past relationship with Ted Shaw, best friend and confidant to Zoe Barnes. Is attempting to raise a bunny from test embryo she neglected to destroy once experiment was complete. No hallucinations to date.
• Rollie Crane/Mission Control (Ty Olsson): United States. Married to Jen Crane.
  Grounded Antares Commander who was medically removed due to mysterious heart condition.
• Claire Dereux/Mission Control Flight Surgeon (Maxim Roy); Canada. Evram Mintz's girlfriend. Knows about “Beta”.
• Maddux Donner/Antares Flight Engineer (Ron Livingston): United States. Was part of Mars mission that haunts him because they left two behind – his lover Sharon Lewis and crewmate Jeff Walker – all have been led to believe, by Goss and the ISO, that the Mars mission failure was Donner’s fault. Got Zoe Barnes preggers prior to training for the Antares mission (but doesn’t know it) and shares a recurring dream with her. Is sleeping with crewmate Nadia Schilling. Was a last-minute replacement for Ajay on the Antares mission, due to Beta interference (e.g., Ajay’s and Rollie’s heart conditions). Hallucinates various elements of the failed Mars mission; most notably the suited-up Sharon and Jeff.
• Mike Goss/Mission Control Commander (Andrew Airlie): Was on the Mars mission; made the decision to leave crewmembers Sharon and Jeff behind. If he seems to have a hidden agenda that’s only ‘cuz it’s true, and its name is “Beta” … and it’s hidden in Pod 4 on the Antares … and he doesn’t want the Antares crew told until they reach Venus. The prick. To Goss the ends almost always justify the means.
• Sharon Lewis/Mars Mission Casualty (Lara Gilchrist): was left behind together with Walker during the Mars mission. She was Donner's lover at the time.
• Evram Mintz/Antares Psychiatrist & Medical Officer (Eyal Podell): Isreal. Claire Dereux's boyfriend. Suffers horrific PTSD from when he served in the military prior to joining the Antares mission. Currently undergoing treatment for alcohol withdrawal. Hallucinates the bomb strike and his subsequent entrapment under the wreckage that resulted in the terrible burn scarring on his back.
• Paula Morales/Antares Payload Specialist, Lander Pilot, and On-Board Documentary Producer (Paula Garcés): United States. Finds true comfort in her faith. Produces terrific documentary episodes for the children of Earth (this is a multinational endeavor after all). Continually frustrated by Wassenfelder, with whom she is stuck working often. Hallucinates the death of her beloved dog.
• Nadia Schilling/Antares Pilot (Florentine Lahme): Germany. Sleeping with Donner, but no strings. Hallucinates some dude running around the Antares (it was later revealed by series creator James Parriott that Schilling was an hermaphrodite and Beta was causing her to “turn” male).
• Ted Shaw/Antares Commander (Malik Yoba): United States. Married to Eve Weller (although had a past relationship with Jen Crane). Knows about Beta, and is torn because he’s been forbidden to tell his crew for the time being, but knows that if they were told it would take a load off their minds of the oh-so-I’m-not-going-crazy-after-all variety. Hallucinates windstorm of failed Mars mission.
• Ajay Sharma/Mission Control (Zahf Paroo): India. Grounded Antares Flight Engineer (due to that pesky heart problem caused by Beta). Forced off the Antares mission by Goss, but has been reinstated due to mini-mutiny of Antares crew, who demand Ajay’s return as he is intimately familiar with the ship and is very necessary to aid in repairs. Fiercely loyal to Donner (e.g., H2IK).
• Jeff Walker/Mars Mission Casualty (Rick Ravanello): was left behind on Mars with Lewis.
• Steve Wassenfelder/Antares Theoretical Physicist (Dylan Taylor): United States. Comes across as a big oaf who eats too much and doesn’t contribute much but, as Schilling once said, sometimes he finds a thumb. Delights in tormenting Morales (but that thumb he found? hers). Considered a failure, but Beta wanted him on Antares for some reason. No hallucinations to date.
• Eve Weller-Shaw/Mission Control’s Bertram Corporation Scientist/Liaison (Karen LeBlanc): United States. Was ostensibly in charge of Antares crew selection (but really that was Beta). “Communicates” with Beta on occasion. Married to Ted Shaw. Knows about Beta.
• Trevor Williams/BBC Journalist (Peter Howitt): United Kingdom. Suspects the ISO isn't being entirely candid regarding the Antares mission, so has made it his mission to figure out what is really going on.

RickRolling

Paul's Boutique - Beastie Boys

This? Is just the rat's ass. The cat's meow ... I freakin' love it. By far my favorite of the Beastie Boys' albums. Highly explicit, immature, misogynistic, and just plain ridiculously awesome ... I'm almost positive nothing like this could ever be made again; the sampling alone would break the bank.

Lyrically impressive, musically universal (from a sampling perspective) ... you've heard from it ... you're familiar with at least part of it. Some of the rumoured samples include:

• to all the girls (a shout out to all the ladies) - idris muhammad.
• shake your rump (the boys introducing themselves) - afrika bambaataa, car wash, foxy, funky 4+1, james brown, ronnie laws, sugar hill gang.
• johnny ryall (that bum used to be somebody) - donnie hathaway, jean knight, kurtis blow, paul mccartney, pink floyd.
• egg man (all about egging) - cape fear, cheech & chong, curtis mayfield, funkadelic, kool & the gang, lightning rod, public enemy, sly & the family stone, tower of power.
• high plains drifter (the story of a petty criminal) - eagles, fatback band, loggins & messina, ramones, zz top.
• sounds of science (hey, it takes brains to be this good) - boogie down productions, beatles, isaac hayes', james brown, pato banton.
• three minute rule (they are badass emcees) - fancy, manfred mann, sly & the family stone.
• hey ladies (they are irresistible ladies men) - afrika bambaataa, cameo, commodores, davey dmx, deep purple, edwin starr, fab-5 freddy, james brown, kool & the gang, kurtis blow, p-funk all stars, sweet, world famous supreme team, zapp.
• five piece chicken dinner (goofy “yeehaw!” rebel fun) - earl scruggs.
• looking down the barrel of a gun (just expressing their baditude) - incredible bongo band, mountain, ocean, pink floyd.
• car thief (they are so misunderstood) - donovan leitch, funkadelic, funk factory, woodstock.
• what comes around (that karma? she a bitch, man) - alice cooper, gene harris & the three sounds, led zeppelin.
• shadrach (the three of them? they freakin’ ROCK!) - ballin’ jack, bar-kays, black oak arkansas, fatback band, funky 4+1, james brown, rose royce, sly & the family stone, sugar hill gang, trouble funk.
• ask for Janice (complete fakery)
• b boy bouillabaisse - all the people, boogie down productions, bob marley, cerrone, chic, crusaders, fab-5 freddy, isley brothers, jimmy hendrix, johnny cash, joni mitchell, kool & the gang, led zeppelin, lloyd lindsey, lovebug starski, meters, run dmc, scotty, sweet, tiny bradshaw, tower of power, trouble funky, world famous supreme team.

And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the seemingly endless pop-culture references (many of them timeless) sprinkled heavily throughout the album. There are simply far too many to mention, from Hollywood to politics to literature to the Arts … have I mentioned that I love this thing? Because I do.

Dig me, mid-forties, fairly conservative, tooling around Kansas City blasting Paul’s Boutique. Somebody has to bring it, no?

Emergency!

Pretty much my all-time favorite television program growing up was Emergency!, starring Randy Mantooth and Kevin Tighe as L.A. Paramedics Johnny Gage and Roy DeSoto, who manned Squad 51, the rescue wagon based out of Station 51.

While in retrospect I'm sure the program was originally intended to showcase more of the goings-on at Rampart Hospital, apparently these guys were the early 70's version of breakout stars, because I seem to recall Emergency! as being mostly about the guys of Station 51:

• Capt. Hank Stanley (Michael Norell) - ultimate cool/kind/level-headed dad figure
• Eng. Mike Stoker (Mike Stoker) - got to drive the big rig, played himself (e.g., actual firefighter)
• Fftr. Chet Kelly (Tim Donnelly) - Johnny's goofball nemesis in the way of practical jokes and general buffoonery
• Fftr. Marco Lopez (Marco Lopez) - played himself (also actual firefighter)
• PM. Roy DeSoto
• PM. Johnny Gage

Although there were a few main Rampart personnel as well:

• Dr. Kelly Brackett (Robert Fuller) - king of the concerned scowl while concentrating really, really hard to come up with some way to save the day
• Dr. Joe Early (Bobby Troup) - gruff, lovable mentor doc
• Dixie McCall (Julie London) - nurse smart enough to be a doctor in her own right
• Dr. Mike Morton (Ron Pinkard) - young hot-headed doc learning the ropes

While mostly about Johnny's and Roy's adventures, there was usually one big rescue per episode, where they had to pull out all the stops and get everyone involved, whether it be a fire, building collapse, kid in well, accident, etc. This way all the guys from the station house and all the hospital personnel could interact.

There was a lot of humor involved, and a surprising amount of suspense ... and good looking guys ... and I learned that D5W and Lactated Ringer's could save almost anyone from almost anything ... and that it is imperative to "transport as soon as possible" if I want to ensure proper medical care ... but I still have no idea what "KMG365" means! Oh, yeah - and that a firestation without a pole is a poseur.

The really cool fact of Emergency! is that it brought attention to the need for emergent medical care outside a hospital. By the time the series ended most of the country either had or was in the midst of organizing some type of Paramedic program (keep in mind that back then ambulance attendents simply transported the patient ... nowadays EMTs and EMS provide critical care before the patient even boards the "bus"). In fact, some of the original props are now in the Smithsonian. Way cool.

The Stand - Stephen King

My all time favorite book. Both versions. I read it pretty much once a year. It is the tippity top of good. I have absolutely nothing even remotely negative to say about it.

Stephen King is one of the most lyrically descriptive authors I've had the extreme pleasure to read. He ranks right up there with James Lee Burke, Larry McMurtry, and Pat Conroy in his ability to suck the reader into the very fiber of the tale, so that instead of merely reading it, we experience and observe it. Wonderfully talented man, with this simply incredible imagination that I both love and covet.

The Stand is, briefly, a tale of the battle between Good and Evil at pretty much the end (or is it the new beginning?) of humankind. Filled with immediately accessible characters and places (some places being actual characters themselves). I fell in love with Stu when I was 13 and he's pretty much ruined me for any other man since.